I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
