I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
