put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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