Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His nipple licking is glorious
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