You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
