I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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