Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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