Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
