I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
