Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
