just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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