Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
