Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
