Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize