i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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