Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
