...so i touched it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
