May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
wow bdsm is so cute
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