Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
