Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
