watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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