my sisters under your porch take her home
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
