You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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