Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
