you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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