I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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