so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
