it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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