3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
