I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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