i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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