i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
