your parents love me but you hate me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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