If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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