Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
