when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
