I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
