Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize