Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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