Just fell off a train. Bad.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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