Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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