i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize