His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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