My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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