I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
