I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
