Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
