barbara walters just said penis...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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