When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize