and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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