I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
