is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
BRING THE BAGELS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
