Everything about him screamed your future.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
