she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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