Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
