If i come over, it means nothing
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
