would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
